Lt. Melody; The Shadow Wulf's Den (It's seriously spelt that way)
Posted by Dragonslorefury on Thursday, February 26, 2009
It's like the Batcave, but fluffier. http://www.geocities.com/pilotwolf143/
"The Shadow Wulfs are a RL(Real Life) pack of werewolf's, and some other were's, dedicated to helping and protecting all were's."
From...?! Please, what are we in danger from? D:
I hate it when people specify wereWOLVES, too. Come on. It's not like wolves are any more popular than any other theriotype...this is just silly. Even being a wolf myself, I find that irritating.
"Werewolves are entites that are human but can shift into an animal becouse of there DNA."
...Firstly, again, you say werewolves. Secondly, WHAT
On 'P-shifting'
"Well, from my own experience its not as fun as people believe it to be, I can swap physical forms when I want to, but I find it hard not to shift to wolf every time I get angry."
Oh you poor martyred liar.
"Most people run away from you if they see you shift. Its hard to keep friends after they have seen it, some even try to kill you."
BAAAAW
"For me its like a whole body sneeze and just as quick. But it gives you one hell of a high when you shift back to human, and I find the wolf senses stay for a while after a shift too. For some people the shift can be a lot slower 2 to 5 min's and some find it a bit painful the first few times, but everyone I've spoken to says it also feels very good and it is really worth it."
Oh dear gods. Does he/she realize that this is preeeetty much the scientific description of an orgasm? Hah. Someone's trying to spice up their sex life.
"The hardest question of all, as I have always been able to p-shift. If you can M-shift or s-shift concentrate on your wolf's form after you have shifted. If you concentrate hard enough and will it to happen after time it should happen."
...if this worked, hell, this world would be full of supermodel-gorgeous women and nobody would wear underwear.
"A flap of skin grows above my penis, drawing it upwards, and I can feel (and see, if I am in the right position) through the thick back hair, the skin between my buttocks stretching out as my tailbone lengthens."
LOL OBVIOUS SEXUAL AROUSAL IS OBVIOUS.
Werewolves aren't sexy. Okay, I'm sexy. But this is beside the point.
"But I recommend you have a mental bond with an existing P-shifter before you try to p-shift. Why ? Because new P-shifters normally experience memory loss and can not control their wolf instincts the first time they P-shift and it can be very frightening."
Basically, make sure you have a partner before you try to LARP.
A test to find out if you're a werewolf...
"A. Is there any history of "mental illness" in your family tree?
B. Do you tend to stay awake far later than normal? (This does not include watching television or other such activities)
C. Have you ever suffered partial memory loss which could not be attributed to alcohol or trauma?
If your answers for these three questions are 'yes', then there's a very good chance you're a Werewolf, Garou, Lycanthrope or whatever else you wish to call it. If this is not the case, you're just normal. "
...so if you're biologically likely to be insane, you're an insomniac, and you've ever forgotten anything before...
You're a werewolf.
If not...oh, nevermind, you're just another stupid hyooman.
"Question 3: You are woken from sound sleep by the bleating of the neighbor's pedigree pet Angora goat, which has escaped from its enclosure.
Do you:
A. Pull the pillow over your head and try to go back to sleep.
B. Get out of bed and phone the neighbor's, and demand they shut the animal up.
C. Uncurl your tail, bound over the fence, and do unto the goat that which you have wished to do unto it since its arrival. "
THIS IS A NORMAL OCCURANCE DURRRRH
"Please note that if you have answered C to all of the above, then you are almost certainly an alpha werewolf. If you haven't, please continue. "
...do I even need to comment on this?
"This section consists of a list of 10 questions, much like a purity test. Answer truthfully - it's in your own interest not to delude yourself.
Have you ever:
A. woken up from a dream in which you were running through a black and white forest.
B. found bloody paw prints on the front path.
C. neglected to eat breakfast because it wasn't alive.
D. found yourself watching people with more than passing interest.
E. wondered exactly what the traffic cop would taste like.
F. ditto for the neighbor's prize schnauzer.
G. been unwilling to walk under a horseshoe because it makes you uneasy.
H. been inexplicably restless at full moon.
I. caught yourself trying to get at the animals on the other side of the TV screen.
J. chased after cars."
But remember, don't delude yourself...
But the above test says I'm not one...make me a werewolf!
"This charm/spell dates at least as far back as the Middle Ages, and probably further, evident by the plea to the Devil to give the individual the power to become a werewolf. During that period, wolves were believed by Europeans to be servants of the Devil, and any that attacked people were often believed to be witches turned into wolves by the Devil or werewolves give the power by the Devil."
I think these people are the devil.
"Make me a werewolf! Make me a man-eater!
Make me a werewolf! Make me a woman-eater!
Make me a werewolf! Make me a child-eater!
I pine for blood! Human blood!
Give it me! Give it me tonight!"
What the hell does blood have to do with anything? This is a sanguinarian vamp thing, not a wolf thing, and certainly not a therianthropy thing. And come on..."I pine for blood"? I think there's a fetish site for that :/
"There is also the more well known myths of the turning bite, whereupon the werewolf is killed by silver alone. Although if you do not burn the beast, you will be in deep trouble, because if the silver comes out, the beast regenerates and comes back for vengeance!"
Regenerates...?! How video-game is this going to become?!
"The evidence that I have found, refers to spells of transformation. Some include the use of wolf-skins, some include drinking water from a wolf paw print beneath a full moon, or some form of black strega curse upon an offender in some way. These curses can be removed through magick ritual, or some form of and unfortunately, death. Again, the body should be burned and the ashes scattered some how, so that the beast does not return to lay waste across the countryside, seeking revenge."
Okay, this pissed me off for a few reasons. One; special K. Enough said. Two; 'black strega curse'. I'm a strega. It's a form of witchcraft based on old Italian traditional magic. It's very, VERY much white magic. This is idiocy. Don't bring my people into this. Three; oh, THAT even exceeds the 'regenerates' comment.
And, of course, HUNTERS!
"
Since the dawn of time, we have all feared the danger of the unknown and the unseen. The survival instinct which helped us to survive in a more primitive and dangerous environment."
This is barely even coherent. The second one isn't even a full sentence...
"The Mage often hunts for his/her own rasons, whether it is for profit, an offense of soem sort, the loss of a loved one, or even for the simple reason that spell components are needed for a spell of some sort."
...people really believe this bullshit?
"I have spoken about the fanatic who attacks weres for utterly senseless rasons. Yet what about the were who attacks human prey for the fun of it ? Is that any less sick than a human who attacks weres for fun ?"
BUT WE R WULFS WE SHULD GET 2 DO WUT WE WANT JERKS
"The villagers went hunting for the strange creature, eventually capturing a whole family of werewolves! The Gandillon family, four members of whom were arrested and charged with Lycanthropy! Perennette Gondillon was charged with the murder and executed, another member of the family, a man called Pierre also confessed to being a lycanthrope, saying on Maundy Thursday he went into a trance and attended a "Sabbat of Werewolves!" The family were also seen running about on all fours while imprisoned."
Lycanthropy is a real mental disease. Not therianthropy at all.
That's it for now...most lulzful stuff I could find today so far.
"The Shadow Wulfs are a RL(Real Life) pack of werewolf's, and some other were's, dedicated to helping and protecting all were's."
From...?! Please, what are we in danger from? D:
I hate it when people specify wereWOLVES, too. Come on. It's not like wolves are any more popular than any other theriotype...this is just silly. Even being a wolf myself, I find that irritating.
"Werewolves are entites that are human but can shift into an animal becouse of there DNA."
...Firstly, again, you say werewolves. Secondly, WHAT
On 'P-shifting'
"Well, from my own experience its not as fun as people believe it to be, I can swap physical forms when I want to, but I find it hard not to shift to wolf every time I get angry."
Oh you poor martyred liar.
"Most people run away from you if they see you shift. Its hard to keep friends after they have seen it, some even try to kill you."
BAAAAW
"For me its like a whole body sneeze and just as quick. But it gives you one hell of a high when you shift back to human, and I find the wolf senses stay for a while after a shift too. For some people the shift can be a lot slower 2 to 5 min's and some find it a bit painful the first few times, but everyone I've spoken to says it also feels very good and it is really worth it."
Oh dear gods. Does he/she realize that this is preeeetty much the scientific description of an orgasm? Hah. Someone's trying to spice up their sex life.
"The hardest question of all, as I have always been able to p-shift. If you can M-shift or s-shift concentrate on your wolf's form after you have shifted. If you concentrate hard enough and will it to happen after time it should happen."
...if this worked, hell, this world would be full of supermodel-gorgeous women and nobody would wear underwear.
"A flap of skin grows above my penis, drawing it upwards, and I can feel (and see, if I am in the right position) through the thick back hair, the skin between my buttocks stretching out as my tailbone lengthens."
LOL OBVIOUS SEXUAL AROUSAL IS OBVIOUS.
Werewolves aren't sexy. Okay, I'm sexy. But this is beside the point.
"But I recommend you have a mental bond with an existing P-shifter before you try to p-shift. Why ? Because new P-shifters normally experience memory loss and can not control their wolf instincts the first time they P-shift and it can be very frightening."
Basically, make sure you have a partner before you try to LARP.
A test to find out if you're a werewolf...
"A. Is there any history of "mental illness" in your family tree?
B. Do you tend to stay awake far later than normal? (This does not include watching television or other such activities)
C. Have you ever suffered partial memory loss which could not be attributed to alcohol or trauma?
If your answers for these three questions are 'yes', then there's a very good chance you're a Werewolf, Garou, Lycanthrope or whatever else you wish to call it. If this is not the case, you're just normal. "
...so if you're biologically likely to be insane, you're an insomniac, and you've ever forgotten anything before...
You're a werewolf.
If not...oh, nevermind, you're just another stupid hyooman.
"Question 3: You are woken from sound sleep by the bleating of the neighbor's pedigree pet Angora goat, which has escaped from its enclosure.
Do you:
A. Pull the pillow over your head and try to go back to sleep.
B. Get out of bed and phone the neighbor's, and demand they shut the animal up.
C. Uncurl your tail, bound over the fence, and do unto the goat that which you have wished to do unto it since its arrival. "
THIS IS A NORMAL OCCURANCE DURRRRH
"Please note that if you have answered C to all of the above, then you are almost certainly an alpha werewolf. If you haven't, please continue. "
...do I even need to comment on this?
"This section consists of a list of 10 questions, much like a purity test. Answer truthfully - it's in your own interest not to delude yourself.
Have you ever:
A. woken up from a dream in which you were running through a black and white forest.
B. found bloody paw prints on the front path.
C. neglected to eat breakfast because it wasn't alive.
D. found yourself watching people with more than passing interest.
E. wondered exactly what the traffic cop would taste like.
F. ditto for the neighbor's prize schnauzer.
G. been unwilling to walk under a horseshoe because it makes you uneasy.
H. been inexplicably restless at full moon.
I. caught yourself trying to get at the animals on the other side of the TV screen.
J. chased after cars."
But remember, don't delude yourself...
But the above test says I'm not one...make me a werewolf!
"This charm/spell dates at least as far back as the Middle Ages, and probably further, evident by the plea to the Devil to give the individual the power to become a werewolf. During that period, wolves were believed by Europeans to be servants of the Devil, and any that attacked people were often believed to be witches turned into wolves by the Devil or werewolves give the power by the Devil."
I think these people are the devil.
"Make me a werewolf! Make me a man-eater!
Make me a werewolf! Make me a woman-eater!
Make me a werewolf! Make me a child-eater!
I pine for blood! Human blood!
Give it me! Give it me tonight!"
What the hell does blood have to do with anything? This is a sanguinarian vamp thing, not a wolf thing, and certainly not a therianthropy thing. And come on..."I pine for blood"? I think there's a fetish site for that :/
"There is also the more well known myths of the turning bite, whereupon the werewolf is killed by silver alone. Although if you do not burn the beast, you will be in deep trouble, because if the silver comes out, the beast regenerates and comes back for vengeance!"
Regenerates...?! How video-game is this going to become?!
"The evidence that I have found, refers to spells of transformation. Some include the use of wolf-skins, some include drinking water from a wolf paw print beneath a full moon, or some form of black strega curse upon an offender in some way. These curses can be removed through magick ritual, or some form of and unfortunately, death. Again, the body should be burned and the ashes scattered some how, so that the beast does not return to lay waste across the countryside, seeking revenge."
Okay, this pissed me off for a few reasons. One; special K. Enough said. Two; 'black strega curse'. I'm a strega. It's a form of witchcraft based on old Italian traditional magic. It's very, VERY much white magic. This is idiocy. Don't bring my people into this. Three; oh, THAT even exceeds the 'regenerates' comment.
And, of course, HUNTERS!
"
Since the dawn of time, we have all feared the danger of the unknown and the unseen. The survival instinct which helped us to survive in a more primitive and dangerous environment."
This is barely even coherent. The second one isn't even a full sentence...
"The Mage often hunts for his/her own rasons, whether it is for profit, an offense of soem sort, the loss of a loved one, or even for the simple reason that spell components are needed for a spell of some sort."
...people really believe this bullshit?
"I have spoken about the fanatic who attacks weres for utterly senseless rasons. Yet what about the were who attacks human prey for the fun of it ? Is that any less sick than a human who attacks weres for fun ?"
BUT WE R WULFS WE SHULD GET 2 DO WUT WE WANT JERKS
"The villagers went hunting for the strange creature, eventually capturing a whole family of werewolves! The Gandillon family, four members of whom were arrested and charged with Lycanthropy! Perennette Gondillon was charged with the murder and executed, another member of the family, a man called Pierre also confessed to being a lycanthrope, saying on Maundy Thursday he went into a trance and attended a "Sabbat of Werewolves!" The family were also seen running about on all fours while imprisoned."
Lycanthropy is a real mental disease. Not therianthropy at all.
That's it for now...most lulzful stuff I could find today so far.