Kaijma Frostfang (Buckle your fucking seat belts)
Posted by Dragonslorefury on Monday, February 16, 2009
Wed Dec 10, 2008 4:22 am
*Before we start, I'd like to say that I am most certainly not making this shit up. I honest to God could not make this up if I tried. This is ALL. TRUE. Honest!*
Portal of Evil is most excellent when one wishes to find insane sites to laugh at. That's how I found out ol' Bax down there, and about this spirit son thing, which made me laugh so hard I cried.
Bax has(or possibly had) a friend. This friend's name is Kaijma Appleseed Frostfang.
But wait! That's not all! That's not just his internet handle, oh no. He legally changed his name to that.
His legal name, the one on his driver's license, his health card (oohhh, and there's SO MUCH COMEDY in there I'll get to) and his fucking birth certificate say "Kaijma Appleseed Frostfang."
I shall pause for a moment, so you may laugh. I know you are, because I am too. And believe me, it gets so much worse. This is only the tip. You will soon see how deep the rabbit hole goes, with or without the red pill. No wait....blue pill? I never did watch The Matrix...Ah screw it, grab some booze-ahol and sing along!
So I like to nose around Crush Yiff Destroy. Some cool articles to read there. I happened upon one entitled "Dragons Walk Among Us." I paused in my scrolling of the page and clicked "Read More."
I made it to the second sentence in the case studies section of the essay before I started laughing hysterically. This was the bit about the guy legally changing his name. Not even Sir Baxalot went this far off the rails. And Bax worships a god HE invented. L. Ron Hubbard could take lessons!
So this guy likes to write and draw. Only problem is, he considers himself "TEH AWSOME!!1!" and in reality, his drawing skill are pretty good, but apparently he doesn't challenge himself to grow. That's not what I'm building up to. What IS hysterical is his essays. Instead of having a thesis and supporting arguments, y'know, like you were taught in English class, he wanders around in meandering paths until I got bored of reading. He calls all Dragons to be, and I paraphrase:
"What would these people be like? Great statesmen, thinkers, and artists? Would they use their ancient wisdom and noble nature to become influential, wealthy, and powerful leaders of mankind and usher in a Golden Age of peace and prosperity?"
Yeah, not this idiot. He built himself, his boyfriend, and Pookie (Wait for this, it's insane) a house. No scratch that, "hovel" would be the better word.
In my house, the laundry room and my Dad's work room aren't exactly fully furnished. Y'know, unpainted drywall, concrete floor, no solid ceiling. Their entire house looks worse than that, and they've been at it for years. Totally unsanitary, more crap scattered around than my basement and garage combined, totally unfinished, etc. etc. It is however magically warded, which I'm sure does wonders for the property value.
He thinks he's "All that and a bag of chips." In a HARD way. He once got pissed at some Native American dude. Why? Because said Native American dude was miffed that certain people *coughKaijmacough* were going around spreading their bullshit, and lacing it with a bastardized version of Native American religion. So Kai e-mailed this guy, whining about it. I wonder what the guy thought when he recieved an e-mail signed "Kaijma Appleseed Frostfang." I really do.
All in all though, he's like Concentrated Baxil. Stuck-up, prickish, wrapped in the romance of it all. Just to a whole new level.
Then, there's Pookie.
Jesus Christ, please help me get through this. Amen.
I'm not kidding about that little prayer. God save my soul.
Pookie lives with Kai and his boyfriend. He's sort of a son-figure to them. He's been thrown in the nut house three times already, and ran away from home to live with Kai and his boyfriend, Krasnayth. (Not important. Mostly 'cause I can't find any dirt on Kras, sorry.) What is Pookie's soul name?
You'd better sit down for this. Once again, NOT MAKING THIS UP!!
Pookie's soul name is: Neuromancer Pookie Loxorion Ka'Kur Alynna Ry'slai Amekazefushuugi Trypnotyk Frostfang Seidaku (plus one the article I'm copying this from couldn't find.)
All together now! "What the fuck?!"
He wears fox ears and tail around the house, makes "meep" noises, talks about himself in the third person in a very cutesy manner. Like so. "Poo-kie is hun-gy." Just fucking shoot me.
I could go on and on, and believe me, with 6500 posts in Kai's topic on PoE, I could fill this entire topic by myself, but this is an essay already, so, I'll go to the links, (plus smart-ass captions) and then round this bitch off.
CYD Article in question: http://www.crushyiffdestroy.com/show/dwakkies
Portal of Evil page: http://friends.portalofevil.com/sfs.php ... =000020927
Picture of the aforemention nut balls. This is safe for work, but it's very disturbing. And yet when I saw Kai and Pookie for the first time, I laughed so hard I was holding onto my monitor for support. I've not laughed so hard since I gave myself an arythmia from laughing at some retarded fan fiction when I was over-tired and hyper last month. http://www.dododge.net/portalofevil/frostfangmirror/
Dude has a YouTube account. I'd link, but there's literally nothing there. If there was a video of him, believe me, I'd be laughing myself to pieces over it. He did act like a douchenozzle on some video when someone made a rude comment about the video.
Not linking. It's some guy in an inflatable whale costume, alongside other inflatable toy whales. I refuse to say anymore. It was on SomethingAwful recently, look it up if you must. But, I will Ctrl-V what Kai said:
"He thinks he has people all figured out, and conveniently enough, there's plenty of criteria by which he judges himself superior. Must be a high school student. Kids go through this phase, it's normal."
When he's challenged:
"You might want to update your Youtube profile to remove the "I am an open minded person" bit. As for the guy in the video, one thing is for sure: he's having more fun getting off than you. I guess jealously breeds contempt. It is lol."
What an asshole. I commented on the video too, so we'll see where it goes. Personally, I find it quite awful, likely because I'm asexual. I think. It's a long story, but seriously, I'm freaked the fuck out by the very thought of having sex.
I'm honestly in shock over this. This guy represents just about everything that's wrong with the otherkin community.
Join me next time when I bitch about over-romancing everything to do with your kin-side!
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I was actually kinda afraid to post this, because the guy likes to look around PoE and SomethingAwful for mentions of himself. I guess he likes the attention or something, I dunno. Regardless, the man is 34 years old according to his YouTube profile. Thirty-fucking-four!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but he's older then everybody on this site! Jesus!
I kinda hope he does initiate contact, because it would be very hilarious, because I'd say something that'd offend his "DRAGON SOUL OF PLUS-INFINITY TO ALL STATS" or whatever.
Also, I realized that since I'm not a PoE user (not yet at least) the Prime Directive does not apply to me. Therefore, I can do this:
http://www.youtube.com/user/toydragoninblue
This is his YouTube profile. I suppose I should've posted this before, just in the spirit of full disclosure. But whatever.
Anyway, I'm bored and don't wanna do my homework, so I'll type some more on him.
So, about Kai and his little minions. Back in '04 the guy had a site, and was apparently BFFs with Baxil, as Bax's site had forums back then (gone now.) There were pics of Kai and Pookie (Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!) up there, and Pookie had this soulmate and blah blah blah. They all had several things in common: White, young males, homosexual, way too much internet time, liked to wear fingerless gloves. I've not a damn clue why but I don't think I want to know.
Back then, I'm not sure how far along this site was, but this dragon community they were all in was FUCKED. UP. I suppose that these guys were ALL fluffsters. They role-played that they were all girls, acted all "SUPA KAWAII!!!"* and gave each other cake and chocklit (that's honestly how they spelled it) and lots of -huggles- and were so happy that it was a sister's "hatchie-day party" and fuck but this is depressing.
I know this CAN'T be every dragon ever. Hell, all the dragons here are nice and down-to-earth, but I've got clue what these guys' glitch was.
* I go to anime cons regularly, and I've NEVER used this term. That's how fucked this was.
And of course the big dragon overlords were all powerful and magically inclined and shit. And furries. No offence to any furs here, but come on...Can't you kick these losers right the hell out of the club? Is role-playing your fursona honestly worth the association of these nutballs? This is Exhibit C or so of why I quit the furry fandom two months ago. That's not relevant right now though, so I'll just move on...
Keep in mind, that most of these cutesy dragons were male. Massive egos, and the worst kind of persecution complexes. I have to say though, I applaud their tight-knitedness. Why? Remember when Bax lost his spirit son? (THAT DIDN'T FUCKING EXIST! SADFJNKSAGJSJ I'M STILL PISSED ABOUT THAT!!!) Apparently, there was one helluva pity party going on. When Jazzaboo drew that awesome picture, was there ever one FUCK of an outcry. They were honestly threatening her with physical violence, they dug up her real name and address, some people were thinking about visiting her IRL! Do they stick up for each other? Yes. In the worst way possible? Fuckin' bingo.
That's why I like otherkin.com so much. Like no tolerance for bullshit, I love it. None of this -huggles and gives u lotsa chocklit ^_^- crap. Hell, we even use science to figure stuff out. No astral plane nonsense.
Oh yeah, and I didn't mention his appearance because I'm no great looker myself, and neither are some of my friends. But you guys opened the door, so I'ma gonna leap through that sumbitch.
The reason this guy is 400 lbs (not kidding) is because he blames his soul. Apparently if your soul wants a damn cow for a snack, you're going to want a second helping of whatever. I'm not the healthiest eater...but seriously, how the fuck do you let yourself go that far, and then blame your spirit? RIDDLE ME THAT KAIJMA APPLESEED WHATEVER THE FUCK!
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His origin story.
http://friends.portalofevil.com/sp.php?pi=1000461613
It's long, it's rambling, and it is fucking hilarious. The whole thing is a huge pile of fail on so many levels, but what's really making this truly amazing in my eyes is how much he uses smilies.
Look, I like smilies as much as the next guy. Maybe a little less, I dunno. But there are 13 smilies in the first ten paragraphs. And they're either :) or ;). It's annoying me for some god-unknown reason. He's going for serious, why the hell is he putting in friggin' emoticons?
What's worse is that he's raping our science again. Apparently his species colonized Mars, but we're all just bland hy00mans and can't see it, and magic and technology are in symbiosis and blah blah blah FUCK!
And he's also killing MY love for Final Fantasy. This ass' siblings/mates/EVERYONE'S name is so very VERY close to names of characters from either FF or other J-RPGS. For God's sake, Lightning is the main character in one of the FFXIII games! How am I supposed to enjoy it now?!
Why do you fluff-balls do this to me?!?
And Saikura is ONE LETTER off of Cardcaptor Sakura, and...y'know what? I'm reading this as I type like I did for that Femmekin shit, and this is Pissing. Me. Off.
I implore you to read it, as really, it's that "good." But lemme sum it up.
That last bit is what's grinding my gears into dust. Know what Kaijma? Fuck you. I just so happen to LIKE this planet. I have no past life memories, and I don't give a damn. I have plenty of most excellent ones from right now. I have friends, a family, hobbies, a future. And I don't spend my free time bitching about how much this world sucks! Especially considering you sir, are a fat, lazy bastard who couldn't even finish a damn house over a decade, even though you apparently were a species that crossed time, space, reality, dimensions, and shit, with the ease of crossing the street!!
Jesus Christ! And what's even more fucking pathetic, is around the time this was still on the 'Net, flocks of idiots were claiming to be Terran dragons as well. Yeah...people considered this good enough to steal it.
Finally, the general tone of the piece is like the lemon juice that's covering the glass shards embedded in my eyeballs. Condesending, superior, subtle mentions of "dragon > human", the ;) everywhere, ripping off of anime and sci-fi, two genres close to my heart, it's just....
I don't...
This is...
FUCK! THIS! SHIT! SKJASDAKASLJFJSL!!!!
Pardon me, I have to go set something on fire.
This is terrifying because of how appealing it sounds. It sounds like a haven, eh? Lots of dis-affected young people will read this, and next thing ya know, they're the new generation of fluffsters.
Time to come clean: I was a bad boy once too. Not nearly as bad as this jackass, but believe me, it was a slippery slope. I owe my recovery to growing up, Hojo.org, the Phoenix stuff I talked about, and you guys and this site (Otherkin.com).
Truly, thank you.
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I'm trying to unravel this, but believe me, it's hard as hell. Mainly because as I delve deeper, my mind seems to sort of fade in and out. I'll start reading a post or essay or whatever, and I kind of lose focus. Next thing I know, I'm at the end, and I have no recollection of what I just read.
Anyway! Seeing as how I bitched out Kai last time, let's swing back over to Pookie. Seriously, what the fuck?! I will never get over that as long as I draw breath. I can't believe that at some point in the recent past all this shit REALLY HAPPENED! HOLY BALLS!
This is another picture of him. Don't worry, it's not disturbing at all. He's in a fursuit, so we don't see him at all.
That cat looks fucking pissed. http://friends.portalofevil.com/sp.php?pi=1000665581
There's some writings in there too. Something about fae being aroused by sugary sweetness in people, and some furry crap. I don't know. It's really all I can do to not turn away and listen to Paramore until the pain goes away.
Also....even though the couch and loser in a fursuit atop the couch take up 90% of the picture, cause he's such a fatass. *zing* Look at the damn floor! Look at it! That little slice in the upper left hints at a lack of a vacuum, and why oh why is there a fucking bathmat in between the couch and the wall? Four (count 'em) pictures not hung up, a stain on the left side of the wall beside the window, and I think I see a crack in the wall in the extreme upper right. I may be wrong though.
Now compare how filthy the house is with the absolutely pristine fursuit. Notice the difference in priorities. Notice the insatiable urge inside of you to find this guy IRL and beat the stupid out.
Fun fact: Lately, I've become much more cleaner, and neater than usual. Not that I was a horrible slob, but y'know, typical 18-year old bedroom, clothes on the floor, bed not made, videogames strewn in front of my TV. All of a sudden last week, I looked at my dirty clothes, and instead of either ignoring them or putting them into the laundry chute, I took them downstairs and washed/dried them myself. My mom was floored. I then cleaned up my room, and have been suddenly rather anal about putting my Rock Band controllers in their proper places, along with my books, games, toys, etc.
I blame this thread. It's like those little pictures of horrible diseased body parts on cigarettes, hinting at what will become of you should you continue on the path you're on. It's like looking at myself in 20 years had I not shaped up and got my head outta my ass.
It really is Lovecraftian horror in my opinion. Especially considering that this man has a sex life.
In case you burnt out brain cells reading that, lemme say that again:
People have willingly traded bodily fluids with this guy. Holy shit!
On March 27, 2003, someone Pookie had fallen in love with online (surprising to this reporter? Fuck no!) met for the first time. Pookie kept swooning, and was SO HAPPY, and couldn't wait to watch hentai with him, naked!
No, really. He wrote that. I'd find it but this is rapidly draining any desire of mine to live. So onward we must forge! The next day, the 28th, he wrote this in his LJ:
"5:32 pm - oh, murrr..
Katsuei has been here for 24 hours now and I know now he is the one.
I feel.. happy, and murr."
Murr = Something to do with sex. I am repressing horrid mental images right now. Anyway, apparently there was a falling out, and then someone else, and then another falling out, and then I dunno after that.
I have a really hard time believing that any of this is true. It's past fucked up, it's past so fucked up it can't be real, it's even past so fucked up it HAS to be real. This is a quantum leap beyond any definition of the phrase "fucked up."
I need a drink. Very, very badly.
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Rest assured folks, I won't be abandoning this. Not by far, as I'm having WAY too much fun doing this. No idea why, and I don't care.
I almost wanna e-mail Baxil to ask him what the fuck he was on when he decided to socialize with these lardbags.
Anyone know Bax and can ask him on my behalf?
Also, I've a bit of a request for the older folks here. This all happened about 5 years ago. Can anyone tell me what the general otherkin community was like back then? Just for a frame of reference. Thanks.
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So, let's talk about Kai some more, shall we?
Remember how he calls all dragons to be great leaders and thinkers and lead us lowly hy00mans into a new golden age of peace and love, where nobody fights and Linkin Park plays a live show every night?[1] Remember that?
Yeah, fuck that shit.
I have honestly never seen anyone who is less capable of taking critisism in my life. And I browse the SomethingAwful.com Let's Play! subforum on a regular basis![2] This man will not take a suggestion from the audience if his life depended on it. To top it all off, whenever he gets crit from someone, he tends to go off on a tangent about how everyone is an idiotic little shit except for him. Or sometimes, he makes snide little comments, like so:
See? Just a constructive crit that says the left wing perspective needs fixing, and the foot is at an awkward angle. I've drawn seriously for about a month, and I figured that out in two seconds. What say the centuries-old artist extra-ordinary?
.....I've got a suggestion for you, Sir Fatso! Wanna hear it? Okay!
Go FUCK your fat fucking self you uppity, clueless, brainless, waste of oxygen!!
Talk about irony incarnate! He says his kind were so very understanding, and never EVER fought, and had some biological imperative that targeted any fellow sapient beings as "ally."[3] And yet when faced with a rational, constructive suggestion, he stuck his nose in the air, and told the guy that he was an idiot, an asshole, he wasn't wanted and should just twat off![4] And there's those motherfucking smilies again. Goddammit!
You know, I can't for the sweet life of me understand these knobs. They call all dragons to arms, and yet they play videogames all day. They call them to be noble, and they act like little 2-year olds. They claim to shirk science, and yet they ran about in frikken' spaceships. Not just Kai though! Bax did this same shit. There's likely to be others as well, and we'll get to them sooner or later.
Look, I'm the guy who couldn't think of a point to being a dragon.[5] Long story short, I realized that there ISN'T one. Life is what you make of it. One person may take up dragon magic, another might draw dragon art, and the last mightn't give a shit either way. There is no code anywhere saying all dragons are Lawful Good or whatever, and yet these bastards adhere to and shove one in our collective face. And the code orders them to uphold nobility and honour, yet they won't honour dissenting opinions!
Can you say: Hypocritical sons of bitches?
What I wanna know is: Where exactly did Bax fall into this? That's for next time. I didn't delve into Bax's BS enough really in his own topic, and it'll be a nice change-up. For one, I'm very very very sick of House Frostfang. And two, Bax's site and LiveJournal are still around, so I should be able to make fun of him much easier. We'll see if we can't find some linkage between these guys. If not, I can draw my own conclusions and similarities.
I shouldn't be having this much fun.[6]
Ta-Ta for now![7]
__________________
[1]Or Simple Plan
[2]Check it out, it's neat!
[3]Yormo! Would this be true in the least? It seems far to fairy-taleish to me, for all members of this race to instinctively get along with EVERYONE! No matter what.
[4]Not in so many words.
[5]No, I'm not switching back to dragon. Don't worry, I promise to not be a fluffster on you guys. I'm still a searching Phoenix. And the point to being a Phoenix? Shedding down so anime characters can revive fallen comrades. DUH!
[6]And yet I am. Awesome!
[7]This text is white.
*Before we start, I'd like to say that I am most certainly not making this shit up. I honest to God could not make this up if I tried. This is ALL. TRUE. Honest!*
Portal of Evil is most excellent when one wishes to find insane sites to laugh at. That's how I found out ol' Bax down there, and about this spirit son thing, which made me laugh so hard I cried.
Bax has(or possibly had) a friend. This friend's name is Kaijma Appleseed Frostfang.
But wait! That's not all! That's not just his internet handle, oh no. He legally changed his name to that.
His legal name, the one on his driver's license, his health card (oohhh, and there's SO MUCH COMEDY in there I'll get to) and his fucking birth certificate say "Kaijma Appleseed Frostfang."
I shall pause for a moment, so you may laugh. I know you are, because I am too. And believe me, it gets so much worse. This is only the tip. You will soon see how deep the rabbit hole goes, with or without the red pill. No wait....blue pill? I never did watch The Matrix...Ah screw it, grab some booze-ahol and sing along!
So I like to nose around Crush Yiff Destroy. Some cool articles to read there. I happened upon one entitled "Dragons Walk Among Us." I paused in my scrolling of the page and clicked "Read More."
I made it to the second sentence in the case studies section of the essay before I started laughing hysterically. This was the bit about the guy legally changing his name. Not even Sir Baxalot went this far off the rails. And Bax worships a god HE invented. L. Ron Hubbard could take lessons!
So this guy likes to write and draw. Only problem is, he considers himself "TEH AWSOME!!1!" and in reality, his drawing skill are pretty good, but apparently he doesn't challenge himself to grow. That's not what I'm building up to. What IS hysterical is his essays. Instead of having a thesis and supporting arguments, y'know, like you were taught in English class, he wanders around in meandering paths until I got bored of reading. He calls all Dragons to be, and I paraphrase:
"What would these people be like? Great statesmen, thinkers, and artists? Would they use their ancient wisdom and noble nature to become influential, wealthy, and powerful leaders of mankind and usher in a Golden Age of peace and prosperity?"
Yeah, not this idiot. He built himself, his boyfriend, and Pookie (Wait for this, it's insane) a house. No scratch that, "hovel" would be the better word.
In my house, the laundry room and my Dad's work room aren't exactly fully furnished. Y'know, unpainted drywall, concrete floor, no solid ceiling. Their entire house looks worse than that, and they've been at it for years. Totally unsanitary, more crap scattered around than my basement and garage combined, totally unfinished, etc. etc. It is however magically warded, which I'm sure does wonders for the property value.
He thinks he's "All that and a bag of chips." In a HARD way. He once got pissed at some Native American dude. Why? Because said Native American dude was miffed that certain people *coughKaijmacough* were going around spreading their bullshit, and lacing it with a bastardized version of Native American religion. So Kai e-mailed this guy, whining about it. I wonder what the guy thought when he recieved an e-mail signed "Kaijma Appleseed Frostfang." I really do.
All in all though, he's like Concentrated Baxil. Stuck-up, prickish, wrapped in the romance of it all. Just to a whole new level.
Then, there's Pookie.
Jesus Christ, please help me get through this. Amen.
I'm not kidding about that little prayer. God save my soul.
Pookie lives with Kai and his boyfriend. He's sort of a son-figure to them. He's been thrown in the nut house three times already, and ran away from home to live with Kai and his boyfriend, Krasnayth. (Not important. Mostly 'cause I can't find any dirt on Kras, sorry.) What is Pookie's soul name?
You'd better sit down for this. Once again, NOT MAKING THIS UP!!
Pookie's soul name is: Neuromancer Pookie Loxorion Ka'Kur Alynna Ry'slai Amekazefushuugi Trypnotyk Frostfang Seidaku (plus one the article I'm copying this from couldn't find.)
All together now! "What the fuck?!"
He wears fox ears and tail around the house, makes "meep" noises, talks about himself in the third person in a very cutesy manner. Like so. "Poo-kie is hun-gy." Just fucking shoot me.
I could go on and on, and believe me, with 6500 posts in Kai's topic on PoE, I could fill this entire topic by myself, but this is an essay already, so, I'll go to the links, (plus smart-ass captions) and then round this bitch off.
CYD Article in question: http://www.crushyiffdestroy.com/show/dwakkies
Portal of Evil page: http://friends.portalofevil.com/sfs.php ... =000020927
Picture of the aforemention nut balls. This is safe for work, but it's very disturbing. And yet when I saw Kai and Pookie for the first time, I laughed so hard I was holding onto my monitor for support. I've not laughed so hard since I gave myself an arythmia from laughing at some retarded fan fiction when I was over-tired and hyper last month. http://www.dododge.net/portalofevil/frostfangmirror/
Dude has a YouTube account. I'd link, but there's literally nothing there. If there was a video of him, believe me, I'd be laughing myself to pieces over it. He did act like a douchenozzle on some video when someone made a rude comment about the video.
Not linking. It's some guy in an inflatable whale costume, alongside other inflatable toy whales. I refuse to say anymore. It was on SomethingAwful recently, look it up if you must. But, I will Ctrl-V what Kai said:
"He thinks he has people all figured out, and conveniently enough, there's plenty of criteria by which he judges himself superior. Must be a high school student. Kids go through this phase, it's normal."
When he's challenged:
"You might want to update your Youtube profile to remove the "I am an open minded person" bit. As for the guy in the video, one thing is for sure: he's having more fun getting off than you. I guess jealously breeds contempt. It is lol."
What an asshole. I commented on the video too, so we'll see where it goes. Personally, I find it quite awful, likely because I'm asexual. I think. It's a long story, but seriously, I'm freaked the fuck out by the very thought of having sex.
I'm honestly in shock over this. This guy represents just about everything that's wrong with the otherkin community.
Join me next time when I bitch about over-romancing everything to do with your kin-side!
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I was actually kinda afraid to post this, because the guy likes to look around PoE and SomethingAwful for mentions of himself. I guess he likes the attention or something, I dunno. Regardless, the man is 34 years old according to his YouTube profile. Thirty-fucking-four!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but he's older then everybody on this site! Jesus!
I kinda hope he does initiate contact, because it would be very hilarious, because I'd say something that'd offend his "DRAGON SOUL OF PLUS-INFINITY TO ALL STATS" or whatever.
Also, I realized that since I'm not a PoE user (not yet at least) the Prime Directive does not apply to me. Therefore, I can do this:
http://www.youtube.com/user/toydragoninblue
This is his YouTube profile. I suppose I should've posted this before, just in the spirit of full disclosure. But whatever.
Anyway, I'm bored and don't wanna do my homework, so I'll type some more on him.
So, about Kai and his little minions. Back in '04 the guy had a site, and was apparently BFFs with Baxil, as Bax's site had forums back then (gone now.) There were pics of Kai and Pookie (Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?!) up there, and Pookie had this soulmate and blah blah blah. They all had several things in common: White, young males, homosexual, way too much internet time, liked to wear fingerless gloves. I've not a damn clue why but I don't think I want to know.
Back then, I'm not sure how far along this site was, but this dragon community they were all in was FUCKED. UP. I suppose that these guys were ALL fluffsters. They role-played that they were all girls, acted all "SUPA KAWAII!!!"* and gave each other cake and chocklit (that's honestly how they spelled it) and lots of -huggles- and were so happy that it was a sister's "hatchie-day party" and fuck but this is depressing.
I know this CAN'T be every dragon ever. Hell, all the dragons here are nice and down-to-earth, but I've got clue what these guys' glitch was.
* I go to anime cons regularly, and I've NEVER used this term. That's how fucked this was.
And of course the big dragon overlords were all powerful and magically inclined and shit. And furries. No offence to any furs here, but come on...Can't you kick these losers right the hell out of the club? Is role-playing your fursona honestly worth the association of these nutballs? This is Exhibit C or so of why I quit the furry fandom two months ago. That's not relevant right now though, so I'll just move on...
Keep in mind, that most of these cutesy dragons were male. Massive egos, and the worst kind of persecution complexes. I have to say though, I applaud their tight-knitedness. Why? Remember when Bax lost his spirit son? (THAT DIDN'T FUCKING EXIST! SADFJNKSAGJSJ I'M STILL PISSED ABOUT THAT!!!) Apparently, there was one helluva pity party going on. When Jazzaboo drew that awesome picture, was there ever one FUCK of an outcry. They were honestly threatening her with physical violence, they dug up her real name and address, some people were thinking about visiting her IRL! Do they stick up for each other? Yes. In the worst way possible? Fuckin' bingo.
That's why I like otherkin.com so much. Like no tolerance for bullshit, I love it. None of this -huggles and gives u lotsa chocklit ^_^- crap. Hell, we even use science to figure stuff out. No astral plane nonsense.
Oh yeah, and I didn't mention his appearance because I'm no great looker myself, and neither are some of my friends. But you guys opened the door, so I'ma gonna leap through that sumbitch.
The reason this guy is 400 lbs (not kidding) is because he blames his soul. Apparently if your soul wants a damn cow for a snack, you're going to want a second helping of whatever. I'm not the healthiest eater...but seriously, how the fuck do you let yourself go that far, and then blame your spirit? RIDDLE ME THAT KAIJMA APPLESEED WHATEVER THE FUCK!
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His origin story.
http://friends.portalofevil.com/sp.php?pi=1000461613
It's long, it's rambling, and it is fucking hilarious. The whole thing is a huge pile of fail on so many levels, but what's really making this truly amazing in my eyes is how much he uses smilies.
Look, I like smilies as much as the next guy. Maybe a little less, I dunno. But there are 13 smilies in the first ten paragraphs. And they're either :) or ;). It's annoying me for some god-unknown reason. He's going for serious, why the hell is he putting in friggin' emoticons?
What's worse is that he's raping our science again. Apparently his species colonized Mars, but we're all just bland hy00mans and can't see it, and magic and technology are in symbiosis and blah blah blah FUCK!
And he's also killing MY love for Final Fantasy. This ass' siblings/mates/EVERYONE'S name is so very VERY close to names of characters from either FF or other J-RPGS. For God's sake, Lightning is the main character in one of the FFXIII games! How am I supposed to enjoy it now?!
Why do you fluff-balls do this to me?!?
And Saikura is ONE LETTER off of Cardcaptor Sakura, and...y'know what? I'm reading this as I type like I did for that Femmekin shit, and this is Pissing. Me. Off.
I implore you to read it, as really, it's that "good." But lemme sum it up.
Quote:
Blah Blah, fake science, blah blah, all geniuses and rich, blah, perfect harmony, no fighting, all is hunky-dory, blah blah, take on anyone in a fight, blah blah, human society is boring/mundane/underwhelming.
That last bit is what's grinding my gears into dust. Know what Kaijma? Fuck you. I just so happen to LIKE this planet. I have no past life memories, and I don't give a damn. I have plenty of most excellent ones from right now. I have friends, a family, hobbies, a future. And I don't spend my free time bitching about how much this world sucks! Especially considering you sir, are a fat, lazy bastard who couldn't even finish a damn house over a decade, even though you apparently were a species that crossed time, space, reality, dimensions, and shit, with the ease of crossing the street!!
Jesus Christ! And what's even more fucking pathetic, is around the time this was still on the 'Net, flocks of idiots were claiming to be Terran dragons as well. Yeah...people considered this good enough to steal it.
Finally, the general tone of the piece is like the lemon juice that's covering the glass shards embedded in my eyeballs. Condesending, superior, subtle mentions of "dragon > human", the ;) everywhere, ripping off of anime and sci-fi, two genres close to my heart, it's just....
I don't...
This is...
FUCK! THIS! SHIT! SKJASDAKASLJFJSL!!!!
Pardon me, I have to go set something on fire.
This is terrifying because of how appealing it sounds. It sounds like a haven, eh? Lots of dis-affected young people will read this, and next thing ya know, they're the new generation of fluffsters.
Time to come clean: I was a bad boy once too. Not nearly as bad as this jackass, but believe me, it was a slippery slope. I owe my recovery to growing up, Hojo.org, the Phoenix stuff I talked about, and you guys and this site (Otherkin.com).
Truly, thank you.
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I'm trying to unravel this, but believe me, it's hard as hell. Mainly because as I delve deeper, my mind seems to sort of fade in and out. I'll start reading a post or essay or whatever, and I kind of lose focus. Next thing I know, I'm at the end, and I have no recollection of what I just read.
Anyway! Seeing as how I bitched out Kai last time, let's swing back over to Pookie. Seriously, what the fuck?! I will never get over that as long as I draw breath. I can't believe that at some point in the recent past all this shit REALLY HAPPENED! HOLY BALLS!
This is another picture of him. Don't worry, it's not disturbing at all. He's in a fursuit, so we don't see him at all.
That cat looks fucking pissed. http://friends.portalofevil.com/sp.php?pi=1000665581
There's some writings in there too. Something about fae being aroused by sugary sweetness in people, and some furry crap. I don't know. It's really all I can do to not turn away and listen to Paramore until the pain goes away.
Also....even though the couch and loser in a fursuit atop the couch take up 90% of the picture, cause he's such a fatass. *zing* Look at the damn floor! Look at it! That little slice in the upper left hints at a lack of a vacuum, and why oh why is there a fucking bathmat in between the couch and the wall? Four (count 'em) pictures not hung up, a stain on the left side of the wall beside the window, and I think I see a crack in the wall in the extreme upper right. I may be wrong though.
Now compare how filthy the house is with the absolutely pristine fursuit. Notice the difference in priorities. Notice the insatiable urge inside of you to find this guy IRL and beat the stupid out.
Fun fact: Lately, I've become much more cleaner, and neater than usual. Not that I was a horrible slob, but y'know, typical 18-year old bedroom, clothes on the floor, bed not made, videogames strewn in front of my TV. All of a sudden last week, I looked at my dirty clothes, and instead of either ignoring them or putting them into the laundry chute, I took them downstairs and washed/dried them myself. My mom was floored. I then cleaned up my room, and have been suddenly rather anal about putting my Rock Band controllers in their proper places, along with my books, games, toys, etc.
I blame this thread. It's like those little pictures of horrible diseased body parts on cigarettes, hinting at what will become of you should you continue on the path you're on. It's like looking at myself in 20 years had I not shaped up and got my head outta my ass.
It really is Lovecraftian horror in my opinion. Especially considering that this man has a sex life.
In case you burnt out brain cells reading that, lemme say that again:
People have willingly traded bodily fluids with this guy. Holy shit!
On March 27, 2003, someone Pookie had fallen in love with online (surprising to this reporter? Fuck no!) met for the first time. Pookie kept swooning, and was SO HAPPY, and couldn't wait to watch hentai with him, naked!
No, really. He wrote that. I'd find it but this is rapidly draining any desire of mine to live. So onward we must forge! The next day, the 28th, he wrote this in his LJ:
"5:32 pm - oh, murrr..
Katsuei has been here for 24 hours now and I know now he is the one.
I feel.. happy, and murr."
Murr = Something to do with sex. I am repressing horrid mental images right now. Anyway, apparently there was a falling out, and then someone else, and then another falling out, and then I dunno after that.
I have a really hard time believing that any of this is true. It's past fucked up, it's past so fucked up it can't be real, it's even past so fucked up it HAS to be real. This is a quantum leap beyond any definition of the phrase "fucked up."
I need a drink. Very, very badly.
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Rest assured folks, I won't be abandoning this. Not by far, as I'm having WAY too much fun doing this. No idea why, and I don't care.
I almost wanna e-mail Baxil to ask him what the fuck he was on when he decided to socialize with these lardbags.
Anyone know Bax and can ask him on my behalf?
Also, I've a bit of a request for the older folks here. This all happened about 5 years ago. Can anyone tell me what the general otherkin community was like back then? Just for a frame of reference. Thanks.
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So, let's talk about Kai some more, shall we?
Remember how he calls all dragons to be great leaders and thinkers and lead us lowly hy00mans into a new golden age of peace and love, where nobody fights and Linkin Park plays a live show every night?[1] Remember that?
Yeah, fuck that shit.
I have honestly never seen anyone who is less capable of taking critisism in my life. And I browse the SomethingAwful.com Let's Play! subforum on a regular basis![2] This man will not take a suggestion from the audience if his life depended on it. To top it all off, whenever he gets crit from someone, he tends to go off on a tangent about how everyone is an idiotic little shit except for him. Or sometimes, he makes snide little comments, like so:
Random Internet Art Critic Guy wrote:
That left wing looks really tacked on, and the way his foot is bent is also fairly awkward.
See? Just a constructive crit that says the left wing perspective needs fixing, and the foot is at an awkward angle. I've drawn seriously for about a month, and I figured that out in two seconds. What say the centuries-old artist extra-ordinary?
Kai wrote:
Thank you very much for the unrequested art crit ^_^ Got any good points along with it, or just bad? ^_^
.....I've got a suggestion for you, Sir Fatso! Wanna hear it? Okay!
Go FUCK your fat fucking self you uppity, clueless, brainless, waste of oxygen!!
Talk about irony incarnate! He says his kind were so very understanding, and never EVER fought, and had some biological imperative that targeted any fellow sapient beings as "ally."[3] And yet when faced with a rational, constructive suggestion, he stuck his nose in the air, and told the guy that he was an idiot, an asshole, he wasn't wanted and should just twat off![4] And there's those motherfucking smilies again. Goddammit!
You know, I can't for the sweet life of me understand these knobs. They call all dragons to arms, and yet they play videogames all day. They call them to be noble, and they act like little 2-year olds. They claim to shirk science, and yet they ran about in frikken' spaceships. Not just Kai though! Bax did this same shit. There's likely to be others as well, and we'll get to them sooner or later.
Look, I'm the guy who couldn't think of a point to being a dragon.[5] Long story short, I realized that there ISN'T one. Life is what you make of it. One person may take up dragon magic, another might draw dragon art, and the last mightn't give a shit either way. There is no code anywhere saying all dragons are Lawful Good or whatever, and yet these bastards adhere to and shove one in our collective face. And the code orders them to uphold nobility and honour, yet they won't honour dissenting opinions!
Can you say: Hypocritical sons of bitches?
What I wanna know is: Where exactly did Bax fall into this? That's for next time. I didn't delve into Bax's BS enough really in his own topic, and it'll be a nice change-up. For one, I'm very very very sick of House Frostfang. And two, Bax's site and LiveJournal are still around, so I should be able to make fun of him much easier. We'll see if we can't find some linkage between these guys. If not, I can draw my own conclusions and similarities.
I shouldn't be having this much fun.[6]
Ta-Ta for now![7]
__________________
[1]Or Simple Plan
[2]Check it out, it's neat!
[3]Yormo! Would this be true in the least? It seems far to fairy-taleish to me, for all members of this race to instinctively get along with EVERYONE! No matter what.
[4]Not in so many words.
[5]No, I'm not switching back to dragon. Don't worry, I promise to not be a fluffster on you guys. I'm still a searching Phoenix. And the point to being a Phoenix? Shedding down so anime characters can revive fallen comrades. DUH!
[6]And yet I am. Awesome!
[7]This text is white.