Oh hey guys! Guess what? I got to ride in an ambulance last night! Turns out that the flu I had was, unbeknowst to me, making me so dehydrated I nearly passed out on the floor at work. So my boss got me back to the stockroom, and called 911.

And I ended up getting MORE dehydrated after throwing up in the ambulance, about 30 seconds before I was taken into the hospital. Fantastic. They didn't admit me, or even run any tests, just gave me an Ativan, a shot of Gravol, sage advice on how to combat the illness and sent me home. I was grateful for the Gravol, as that knocked me out for about eight hours, and I'm glad I didn't need to be admitted.

The doctor thought it was a panic attack, but I'm positive it was dehydration, as I've had panic attacks before, and this was no panic attack.

Anyway, I'm much better now! Let's talk fluff!

I'm not gonna touch on that emo support thing. Mainly because...it's really nothing anybody hasn't seen before. Just AAAAAANNNNNNGSSTT!!!!1!!

It just gets so stinking boring to read about how they want to kill themselves because their mothers made them clean their rooms or whatever. Just lighten up! And if it's that bad, go see a doctor! Trust me, there's a reason doctors go to like eight years of school. To know their shit, so they keep you from losing your shit.

Besides, Lt. Melody is doing a much better job of profiling it, so I wouldn't dream of stealing her thunder.

Getting back to the Vampire forum, we see that the "Us VS. Evil hy00mans War" well never runs dry.

ok heres the story!! there are Christain Faith Protecter people who are killing and controling older vampires and newborns!!!! they kill them if they dont be controled!! my so called "parents" are at the head of the group!! and i might be the next to die!! i wont be controled its against my nature!! but i need to know who is on my side!! idk when the humans are gonna attack so be ready if your with me!!

But surely that can't REALLY believe this? I mean, they've gotta know he's role-playing. They've GOTTA!

Christians? I'm in an atheist organization, we could help out, none of us are vamps so we could get past that anti-vamp machine right?

im up for it
im in

im in!! i was attacked by humans not to long ago, we need too fight back!! it's time we took back our freedom!!!

Ok ok..I dont like the idea but...for the good of our race verywell...Im in ...So whats the plan my lady..Im a magic swordsman vampire..I could use dark magic and sword at the same time...so whats the drill?

Well colour me pissed off! I guess they do believe it!

And speaking of colours! Every post in this next quote box will be seperated by _____.

i dont know exactly when they will attack....but they have people all over the world....just be ready when they come for y'all....they have a way to track us vampires....keep your sword sharp and be ready for anything....and stay away from bright colors as much as possible!!
Bright colors you say why? whats that for?
its one of their weapons....white,yellow,and pink stay away unless you wanna die....
i cant stand brightness how the hell do they know our weaknesses

Just....shit the fuck people?!

And of course, the eternal debate about turning rages on. They all seem to believe in turning, but why vampires -don't- turn others? This guy knows!

Because we only choose those who will be useful to our kind.

We have an advantage over humans in that, we get to choose only those that we see as beneficial to our kind as a whole.

You are stuck with whatever your offspring turn out to be.

Yeah....If Darwin were alive, I think he'd go on a murderous rampage. I don't believe in turning, but if anything, aren't you just making people LESS than what they are. What with all this talk about needing blood and can't go out in the sun and blah blah blah, isn't that just bringing you down? I'd rather live my life out in the open, rather than never die but be stuck as a freakin' hermit throughout my entire existance.

Let's take a look at the hybrid section shall we? Hey! A dragon topic! In fairness to one of my trusted Lieutenants, I shall read it.

.........In the words of Blink-182, "Dammit!"

In a topic about if dragons really did exist, they manage to bash humans! I have to admit, I admire their ability to shoehorn that never-ending well of teh stoopids into everything they ever talk about ever.

Quotes! They make you strong, whiten your teeth! But in this case, you may end up leaving several dents in your desk. C'est la vie!

Kira: they're real but they're VERY rare due to the humans' hunting their food sources.
Ever heard that dragons will devour a human whole? Well...they will only eat humans when the food supply in their area is scarce and in order to let their food supplies' numbers increase, they will prey on other creature such as humans.
You can only 'tame' a dragon if you aqquire the young dragon at a very young age :]
I used to have one 1,200 years ago but foolish humans stumbled upon it's nest and killed it


Also, as the Captain of this unit, I have decided to make comments on the reports of my Lieutenants, if only because it makes my job easier.

Lt. Melody

No...Pookie?! Seriously?!?! I read over the post, and I don't think that's actually him....but...but....just what the fuck man?! And yeah, who in the holy hell bites a mirror?! That'd be fun to explain to the ER doctor.


Very nice for your first report. I think you actually outstripped some of my earlier work. Couldn't agree more about why the fluffsters are so curious as to why they've earned everybody else's ire.

And that's about it for tonight. This is your fearless Captain, signing off.