-Still an AFSWATTF Special Report-
Volume the Third

I sometimes wonder when I write these articles what everyone thinks. I mean, I know what everyone who's commented on them thinks, but I really wonder what everyone who's ever read them thinks. Naturally, this leads to my wondering what the subjects of these articles, and especially when they become acid-filled rants, would think if they read them.

I know exactly how Kai would respond. Utter contempt. Any critique of him, his beliefs, or his artwork, is met with a sharp retort that has a really strong, "Screw off" vibe to it. Actually, especially his artwork. It's not like he's shit, actually he beats my pants off, but he has screwed up. No sweat, probably happened even to the great artists of old such as Leonardo, Rafael, and other dead guys with complicated names. However, he can't take a crit to save his life. And it's not like it's flaming crit either. It's honest, good, albeit a tad blunt, crit. Here, read: (Paraphrasing because I can't find the freakin' quotes.)

Random Art Critic Man wrote:
The left wing looks tacked on, and the one foot is at a weird angle.

Maybe a touch harsh, but still, it points out the flaws. That's what matters right? That you can fix your mistakes? Nuh-uh so sayth Kai.

Kai wrote:
Thank you for the unrequested crit. ^_^ Got any good points or just bad? ^_^

Um...good points? You lived to see another day, congratulations. You've given me comedic material to last until the sun goes out, thanks. You can't take a crit, grow up. I like that third one the best. Seriously, I don't even have a response for this. I have never seen an ego like this on anybody else. He tells the guy to screw off, fishes for a compliment, acts like a jerk and calls the guy a flamer. All in only two sentences! I've never seen anything like it in all my life.

I'd love to expound upon just how this guy got to be this way, and I wonder what he'd act like if he was an elf, a were, or God forbid, a phoenix. I'd be in tears, and ThirdEye would be making one helluva profit.

Moving along, our essays this even.....actually morning now, it's 12:30 AM where I live because I can't sleep, will be "In the Country of the Cruel" and "How Not To Annoy Artists in 10 Easy Steps." We will be doing these backwards because I can.

How Not To Annoy Artists in 10 Easy Steps

Artists are freakin' gods, and Cthulhu help you if you piss one off. This actually has some good points, but again, it's ruined by his attitude towards everybody else. Little things, such as him not being surprised when people don't "get" his art, because most people are dense.

Also, most of his responses to supposed "bad" people is pretty much a blanket STFU. Not an informed response, no honest, decent rebuttal here, no sir! I mean, come on! I've had better debates in YouTube comment sections. It really all boils down to suggestions to just leave artists alone, and sod all that crit. I know I'm hammering this point, but it's really sticking in my arse about how he thinks artists are never wrong.

If it wasn't for amateur crit, I wouldn't be half the artist I am today, so stick that in your pipe and smoke it, Frostfang.

Not alot with this essay, but let's check out the next one, shall we?

In the Country of the Cruel

This is actually a retort to anybody who has ever made fun of him, or any of his communities. Namely otherkin, and furry being the main ones. I'm pretty sure this'd be the message I'd get if he ever saw this. Frankly I'm shocked I haven't recieved any hate mail from anyone, but whatever.

In this one, he keeps referring to the "Bastard Culture." These are people from sites such as Portal of Evil and Something Awful who point and laugh at other people. Now, yes, they've crossed the line sometimes, but there's a reason they're all laughing at you, Kai. Why is there 6000 posts about you, and not everyone? I mean, everyone else like you is a dragon, right? Why aren't those horrible people making fun of them too?

*DING* Time's up! The answer isn't because you're a dragon, Kai. I think it'd just be a quick ha-ha and then they'd move on. Case in point: Just about every otherkin topic on PoE that isn't Kai or Bax. They have like 50 posts, max. It's because of the way you treat your draconity and the way you act to other people.

Apparently these horrible people (myself included, I guess) make fun of everyone who isn't them and are horrible, horrible people because of it. The thing is, I wouldn't satirize something that wasn't funny in the first place. He says that we just blindly clutch at every little straw in an attempt to make fun of it, and it's all amusing to him. Uh...no I don't.

(Wrapping up because I'm losing focus.)

I only write about things that lend themselves well to satire. If I was really grabbing at straws, I'd be writing about DLF's essay on being a dragon. But I don't. Why? For one, I actually like her. And for two, she wrote clear, concise, mature, good essays. You wrote rambling things about how you're always right and we all suck. See the difference?

Not a single person in these so called straw grabbers have wrote about her essays actually. You'd think they'd be a primo target, but no. I wonder why? *overt gesture to above reasons goes here*

You'd think with all this awesome dragon-y foresight, he could've predicted this, but no. Oh well. C'est la vie, no?