Let's bash Kai, because it's what all the cool kids are doing.

AFSWATTF Report Number: I forgot. Uhm....C? Aw hell...C isn't a number. Okay then....D!
Author: The Cap'm
Target: Kaijima Appleseed Frostfang.
Fluff Level: Holy fuck!

Report: Why would a just and loving God allow Cobaine of Nirvana to be (alledgely) killed by whats-her-face, but not allow Kai to fall on some conviently placed land mines?

Answer: I'm in hell and this is my punishment.

I'd heard stories about the things this man had wrote, but never experienced one of his famed essays before. I now have the "honour" of doing so. I direct your attention to the essay entitiled "Why Being a Dragon Sucks." My heart was aflutter with joy, as perhaps this would be a good read.

Do you know what it's like to have your hopes crushed bit by bit, as you delve into the insanity contained within those words? I do. It feels like your stomach is being filled with lead pellets. Then your brain explodes, your face melts, and you die. Thus proving the above answer.

I knew from the first quote things would not go well.


"You laugh at me because I'm different... I laugh at you because you're all the same."

The text on a truly great bumper sticker I saw one time, not long ago. There's so much truth contained within that simple statement, that it becomes something profound.

First two sentences, already the "Humans == Boring" levels are ramping up. It's all downhill from here.

I continued to read on, a migrane already brewing in my head. And heart. And even my boots. No, I don't know how.

To save you from the immense " headbang " contained within, allow me to give you the thesis. At least, I think it's the thesis. He never actually stated his thesis. A centuries-old being forgets his thesis. I had to find it. I had to read this thing. See how much I care/hate my life?

He's basically saying being a dragon sucks, not because you are one (No, that's all wonderful, because according to him "Dragons Do It Better." I may be asexual, but even if I wasn't, I'd still be cringing in abject horror at this statement.) It sucks because you aren't understood.

That well never runs dry does it?

How can you not get that you won't be understood?! Some people don't even believe in a God worshipped by over 1 billion people, and you expect instant acception for something unique to you? Hell, we don't even accept other 'Kin (I made a funny.) unless we get concrete proof. If we don't stand for "I'm a dragon because I say so!" why should someone who doesn't even know what dragonkin are?

Why do you people get all angsty about 'humans' just because they don't understand something you love? I love Silent Hill. Nobody I know has even played it. That doesn't give me the excuse to go off on a tangent about how much they suck because they don't share my worldview.

Near the end, I witnessed him advocating dumping family and friends that don't understand. Fantastic. Then, he said that dragons were so special, they are shining examples of what everyone should strive to be, and at the end of the day, they rock because they believe what they say, no matter what critisim is directed at them (No matter how valid! That part isn't stated, but I think you know him well enough by now to know that it's implied.). I honestly wish I was kidding.

Recommended Course of Action: Drink until I forget I read this. You are welcome to join me.

-This report isn't edible. Neither is the author. -

-Captain Nickolai CO of the AFSWATTF/Team Medic/Lover of Linkin Park.


Not much to say here. Here's the link: http://web.archive.org/web/20030811035602/drakenfluegel.lostweyr.org/essay/kaijima/being_a_dragon.htm

I'm really so tired I think I'm gonna pass out. And some asshole is blasting shitty techno music at 1:00 AM. Fan-friggin'-tastic.

Stay tuned! I may actually keep this thing moving along for a while at least. I didn't think it'd be this popular. Again, my thanks to all.