AFSWATTF Report Number: 1123581321 (Props to who knows this.)
Author: Cpt. Nik, Leader of THE most kickass otherkin military unit by virtue of it being the only one in existance. Except for John Sharkey's, but he's a loony-tune, so we don't talk about that.
Target: Lady D's other site of horrific horror, fluffy fluff, and rampaging BS. That rampages.
Fluff Level: Take a wild friggin' guess. (Hint: Nope, higher.)


Leader of a crack team of namers and shamers I might be. Phoenix I might be. Parkour traceur in training, I might be. Wishing for some Jell-O, I kinda am. Student of the occult, I ain't. Personally, I wouldn't ever get into that because it seems to deal with things that:

A.) Scare the daylights outta my treehouse.
B.) Kinda go against my religion. And:
C.) Seem rather dangerous. Is summoning a demon, REALLY a good idea?! (In Diablo 2: Always!)

So I was kinda iffy at tackling the sister site. However, Zimmer informed by that it's flufftacular. Welp, I couldn't argue with that logic. And it's not like I had anything better to do with my time. I mean, I could be researching quantum physics in an attempt to better my fellow man, but I'd rather bust fluff.

I tried to view a couple of posts, and I was shot right the fuck down by the forum's software. I couldn't view any threads without registering. So I fixed that little issue right quick and started to nose around.

Well, it was pretty hard, I will admit. And what I post here may be COMPLETETY wrong. Like I said, the occult and me are like water and oil.

We'll start with some guy asking for initiation into a magic group. That hasn't existed since the 50's.

anyone familiar with that ??? i've been reading the book with same name by Cicero's and the Self-Initiation for Neophyte is kinda complex. what i ment to say is that i dont have the resources to make it happen in near future. will it have any bad side effects if i practice the rituals and spells described in the books about the Golden Dawn without proper initiation ? to do everything as it is described in the books but gaining in ranks. i know it should be done, but can the initiation be skipped ? thank you.

Wait, what?

Anyway, I poked around, and apparently there are some people calling themselves the Golden Dawn on the internet, and have temples. Should you not live near a temple, you can do an astral initiation. Too bad I couldn't take astral university courses, then I'd never have to leave my house!

And of course, angels are still 100% Lawful-Good. (Sorry, Sera.)

You are welcome, and you are right being immortal does not make you perfect, but in their perfection they are generous enough to help but yet not put us in harms way. They are also flawed in the instance they are sad that they can not. Yes the mysteries are one of the privileges we have as beings to continually wonder.

Right. Perfection. Holy magic. Uh huh. Not like any angels kicked a couple of jerks outta the Garden of Eden with a flaming swords way back when, AMIRITE?!

Fucking Hell, this is harder than I thought.....waitaminute! *reads*

Oh. My. God.

Lady D has done it again, folks. Thrice over.

If this makes you feel better I have so much energy colored electrical sparks are flying from my fingers. I can not even go near my cats without sending them flying and I have made coffee pots fly at me. Hopefully it will calm itself down eventually. This is why I tell you not to worry.

*dies laughing*

The self is not an issue as there is no self.

I shouldn't be finding this so funny, but you have no idea how hard I'm trying not to laugh right now. There are tears in my eyes, and I'm not kidding.

This completely contradicts everything I learned in social science. It seems like she's saying that the you that's you doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

But this next one.....I think this explains damn near everything about her.

.....Yes my goal is to become a God one day and that god is the still small voice inside.....

Let that stew in your mind for awhile. I'm pretty sure this is what makes her tick. Aspirations to be a god. Fan-fuckin'-tastic. I'm past amazement by this point. And I just now read that aspiring to godhood is some sort of lifelong goal for some branch of satanism.

This is honestly giving me a headache, so I'll wrap this up now.

I suppose this god-aspiration is what causes Lady D to look down her nose at all of us. I mean, if you're trying to become some omnipotent creator, I guess you're gonna look down at those peons that don't give a shit either way. Plus all her supposed years of studying otherkin, her "immense power" is just all merged together in one big package of arrogance.

I may seem calm right now, but I think that there phoenix side of me is currently in a blind rage at all this stuck-up crap. Why? Because half-way through this, I felt it pretty damn strong, and I haven't felt it in a few days, and that was just the wings very slightly.

But I guess I'm okay....



Well then! Thank you and always tip your superior officers.


Two things:

A.) I've probably just cast the occult into a very bad light and not done my usual method of laser-precision fluff-busting. If so, I really am sorry. I don't know the occult AT ALL, so I kinda tried to stay in familiar territory. If I'm wrong, please (politely) tell me so I can fix it.

B.) Thoughts on why I was feeling my phoenix side act up like that? Coincidence, or reaction to this crap? I really dunno....Man alive, trying to figure out your spirit shouldn't be this effin' hard, especially considering it's just a bird that catches on fire! All birds can catch on fire!

Note: I would not recommend trying to prove that theory. I'm pretty sure there are very strict laws about that. If you do find a real phoenix and set it on fire however, be sure to put that on YouTube, because that's just awesome.