AFSWATTF Report Number: One (1) Crapload
Author: OH MY GOD WHAT'S MY NAME?!?

Some people in the human-bashing camp actually had crappy lives. I will not knock these people, unless they become otherkin facists that wish to "Overthrow the evil human reign." Then I will point and laugh.

Some people really have had a crap life, or are depressed for other reasons. Like I mentioned, I have some scars of my own, so it'd just be the pot calling the kettle an asshole.

No my fine readers, the topic tonight is: People who bitch about human culture being boring.

If there ever was a group to require the WAmbulance...

Mostly these guys say that in their past lives or whatever, where they lived had magic everywhere! Literally, everywhere. Like instead of air, there was magic in the...more magic! And you ate magic! And did magic! And rode the Magic School Bus! And I think the metaphor just committed suicide!

Of course this made everything better, just like magic! (See what I did there?) Because it's magic! ....Shutting up now....

I don't get this at all. Just because you can wave your hand and make fire doesn't make my life any more interesting. Mainly because I use a lighter I found at a Simple Plan concert. This argument is mainly from the mystical 'Kin types, like Elves, Demons, Dragons, etc. It just sounds to me like the elderly when they say the old days were better. Look, I'm not saying your life back then was shit, but at least try to have fun now. If you just whine and complain about how much this life sucks, then IT WILL SUCK! See how it works? If you hate your life that bad, change it!

For God's sake, it's not rocket science! It's not easy, but it's not quantum entanglement! I changed mine! If I can do it, then these mighty beings of mystical power and junk should be able to at the drop of a hat. But they don't, they whine, and it makes me sad.

Just how interesting WAS your life anyway?! Was sitting atop a pile of treasure big enough to buy Toronto, inside a cave, alone, never moving except to eat and attend to basic bodily demands -that- fascinating? Y'know, I kinda doubt it. Make all the claims you want! I'm human, and I can vault a railing -six- different ways. Beat that.

Then there's the people saying that being 'Kin makes you better. Always. Right off the bat. DON'T EVER CHANGE, BABY!

This is really just re-inforcing that negative behavour of just whining about it. They say to everyone to not worry about how crap your life is, because soon you'll be soaring the skies on wings made of grace, holy light, which are powered by cold fusion. Meanwhile, you'll be able to laugh at those pitiful humans, stuck on the ground, with only luke-warm fusion.

The bar they've set is honestly out in the cold reaches of outer space, and it's stupid because not even God Himself could vault it. And they think just because they're a l-insert kin-type here-, they are, in fact, the bomb.

It's doubly funny when you see that they consider all 'Kin morally superior, and yet cut down human lifestyle whenever they can. If they were superior, they'd take their lumps and move on, and I wouldn't be awake at 12:40 AM posting about. But they aren't, they don't, and here I am.

To leave you on a funny note, plenty of these guys give you life advice, and are in no position to do so. Take Kaijima for example. He wrote alot of stupid essays, works as a janitor, and is a mediocre artist. He subscribes to Bax's ideals of the Dragon Master Race. Regardless of what you've done in life, if you ain't a good, magic-loving dragon, You < Him. (I can infer that because A.) He adores Bax [and we all know Bax's ideals], and B.) That smug-ass way he writes whenever he mentions people.)

Dunno about you guys, but I realized that all at once...then fell off my chair laughing.

Thank you and always tip your phoenixes!

-Captain Nickolai CO/Medic/Kinda in the mood for tacos.
_______________

Shout out to all my loyal readers. Know that the AFSWATTF salutes you!