Sun Jan 25, 2009 2:20 am
Fluff Report: #005
Author: CPT. Nickolai, AFSWATTF Team Leader/Medic.
Contributors: DLF and Sera.
Pie: Tasty.
Cake: A Lie
Do I Hate Myself: Yep.

Mission Log:

Sometime within the past few months, years, or maybe even weeks, DLF came under fire for her taste in art. She defended her point, and was promptly banned from the fluff forum in question. Apparently, Sera was soon to follow. This author extends his condolences for the crap they put up with, and his gratitude for finding quotes, to make my job easier. I'd extend a high five, but they live outside my high fiving range.

I believe I expressed my feelings for this in the preceding paragraphs, so I won't bore you all. Instead, I offer insights to new quotes from a forum recently come across in the Links section: The House of the Anichents.

This author went to the fluff site in question and observed it for a very long period of time. About 15 minutes, because then he had to go to his crappy retail job uptown. He is done taking about himself in the third person now.

I was rather amazed at what I saw. For one, for being apparently God-like beings trapped on our plane of existance for the sole purpose of guiding our collective dumbasses, they didn't type very good. For two, even though the site owner was alledgely so powerful as to unknowingly attack you through an internet connection with his tremendous energy.

((I'm not making this up. Click this link, then the forums at the top of the page. Then the sub-forum entitled "FAQ - Read this First." Then read the topic called, "My energy changes people." I apologize for the instructions, but I can't link directly. It's in the OP, about how his ambient energy in what he writes has messed people up for years, just by reading his words! And these are people just as Godly as he is!!))

I felt absolutely nothing. Maybe the energy can't work over a wireless internet connection, my firewall is 10X more kickass than I thought, or Windows Vista actually has a practical use, of "Plus Infinite to Resist Godly Energy"

Or maybe he's a lying liar-face. We may never know!

The only thing I felt was a sudden urge to stop reading, stand up, and go practice parkour vaults for about five minutes. Even though I already had a wicked carpet burn from that morning, perfecting the Basic Parkour Roll.
I doubt that's his doing, I just got really bored of the same thing over and over.


This same thing was honestly quite shocking. I was so shocked my kevlar vest caught fire. I don't even own a kevlar vest! They consider themselves very superior, and wish nothing more than to help us poor, close-minded humans to awaken to do the wonderous things that they can do with energy to! How retarded.

The site owner was giving instructions on how to alter the behaviour of entire freakin' cities! Even with my knowledge focused on non-energy working things, such as videogames, SWAT stuff, and cloud watching, I call BS. Apparently there's some sort of energy core in every city, and it's just perfectly fine to mess with it! If this thing exists, I would think that God wouldn't take kindly to people from the internet playing with it.

I recommend a research mission to determine the exact nature of these energy cores. If they do exist, we probably shouldn't be allowing holier-than-thou folks from the fucking INTERNET to mess with these things. We should than station guard battalions around every single one, to ensure they don't get corrupted or anything.

This may be difficult, as I'm the only member, I have no clue how to do a research mission, and honestly, I just can't be arsed. Videogames to be played, clouds to be watched.

The AFSWATTF will prevail though! Some day, SOME DAY! I'll GET you my pretty, and your little dog too!!! BWA HA HA HA Ha ha....ha.....uh......

Thank you and good night!

-Captain Nickolai, Commanding Officer/Medic of the AFSWATTF. Watcher of Clouds, Still Can't Be Arsed.

End Mission Report

This message will self-destruct....right after this game of Free Cell.